it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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