Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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