Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
