Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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