Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
