He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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