I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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