Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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