Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
