so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
