just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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