every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
