Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
