I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Your penis caused this!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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