And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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