Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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