He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
