Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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