Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
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My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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