Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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