Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
