just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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