Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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