when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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