I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
