Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
