i was rollin on her like bob the builder
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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