Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
