just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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