So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
