i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
