and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
