I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
