Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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