I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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