he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
