You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
