I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Randomize
