A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
