went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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