talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
