The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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