So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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