so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
