u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
