My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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