I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
