Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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