Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
