can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
