I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
it's like iHOP with fire
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My dick has a subreddit
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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