that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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