i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
