we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
