Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
