she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
