i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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