google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
